The ‘their’ pronoun on Facebook and allies

Cisgender people who have their pronoun set to ‘their’ on Facebook. 
I realise you are probably doing it out of solidarity with non-binary transgender people and as a fxxk you to patriarchy, but what you’re actually doing is laying claim to a pronoun that we adopt out of sheer necessity and your ‘their’ minimises our dysphoria and struggles. You wouldn’t adopt an African name to show your solidarity for Black Lives Matter, so please don’t appropriate our struggle, however well intentioned.

I have since reconsidered my thoughts about this thanks to some thoughtful input from others. And it’s this: we need to move away from gendering people and things and ‘their’ is part of this. Claiming ‘their’ and using it to refer to others whose gender has not been confirmed by them is an essential part of relanguaging society in non-gendered ways. As long as people are aware of the implications of ‘their’ and have adopted it mindfully, we’re fighting the same fight, regardless of cis or trans-ness. Aluta continua ✊🏾


3 thoughts on “The ‘their’ pronoun on Facebook and allies

  1. I never really considered that cisgender people would use their pronouns online for that reason. I thought that it was to protect their identity-especially for women and girls, as telling people online that you’re female can be dangerous.


  2. So there is this thing where when fb first started out you weren’t required to indicate your gender, and for anyone who has never told fb their gender, the site has always defaulted to the generic ‘they’ before everyone was given the option of selecting their own pronouns. So some of the people you’re seeing who fb calls they may just have chosen not to indicate their gender on their profile at all, which I think is actually legit. (This is actually the case with my fb profile, also, tho singular they is the correct pronoun for me anyway.)


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