Since transitioning, my sudden inclusion in bro culture has really tested my feminism.
I attended a work function and a male colleague of mine stood with me behind a female colleague and made a really sexist remark. What I felt was two emotions. Whereas before, when I was perceived as a woman, my reaction would have been one of disgust and a calling out of my male colleagues misogyny. But now that I’m transitioning and welcomed into the bro culture I felt that, and simultaneously a feeling of inclusion; a validation of my gender.
And this was difficult, and shocking, and uncomfortable – to feel these two very different and opposing feelings. Because inclusion is affirming of who I am becoming. It involves a being seen-ness that I crave. And yet, if me being seen as a man, as one of the guys means being implicit in misogyny, I want no part in it.
As a trans guy and a feminist, as someone who has lived as two genders, and thus privy to misogyny from both sides, I have the added responsibility to call out sexism, and make other men aware of their unconscious and conscious misogyny.
And if that means exclusion from the bro club, then so be it.