7 Days before top surgery – Affirmations, trust, I am good, I am enough #NoteToSelf

Everything is as it should be and I am where – physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually where I should be (with “should” not in the societal sense, but the “right” for me sense). 

I am unashamedly claiming all the Germaines that I was, am (moment by moment) and all the selves that I am becoming. There is no “woke”, only waking; there is no “be”, only being; there is no “should” be/feeling/thinking/doing. There is only what is. And that’s enough.

And as this documentation(ing) of my selves is for me and only for me, I’m letting go of judgement towards my selves, my pasts, my presents, my futures; and that frees me of censoring myself for me and others. 

My document(ing) started as a Captain’s Log of my journey through the inner/outer space of my selves. It was and has always been a #notetoself. I lost that in making my notes to self a note for others. I’ve re-remembered that and will continue to do so, because that is where Peace, Light, Love, Beauty and Healing are. 

This document(ing) and heal(ing) through it will continue to take as many forms as I do – art-ing, writ-ing, video-ing, selfportrait-ing leading up to this rite of passage in a week, during and after. For me and my selves.

And I am well. I am good. I am enough. Unashamedly me, re-remembering me, re-creating and re-membering me. I am Beautifully complex:
(The below  are all my text tattoos, in order of getting them. View the tattoos themselves here).

  • anomaly; 
  • Create or die; 
  • The freedom of the wholly mad, To smear and play with her madness, Write with her fingers dipped in it;  – Adrienne Rich
  • And I have known the eyes already, known them all— The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should I begin To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? And how should I presume? – T.S. Eliot
  • There is a crack in everything, That’s where the light gets in;  – Leonard Cohen
  • Fragile;  – Seether
  • Beauty; 
  • confusion is a small price to pay for beauty; – Crimethinc
  • o heart, if you recognise the difference between joy and sorrow, these lies will kill you;  – Rumi
  • finding beauty in negative spaces; – Seether
  • Hope is a feathered thing; – Emily Dickinson (adapted)
  • TransForm; 
  • Beyond Binaries; 
  • Do I confuse myself? Very well then, I confuse myself. I am large, I contain multitudes; – Walt Whitman

Unapologetically yours, Germaine(s)

Re-remembering, self-portrait, 2011/12


One thought on “7 Days before top surgery – Affirmations, trust, I am good, I am enough #NoteToSelf

  1. Pingback: the history of Life Writ Large, of why I live life large #lettersfromselvespas(t)sed | life writ large

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