Living with social anxiety/phobia

This is what living with social anxiety/phobia looks like. It’s debilitating. For me, it’s like being a deer in the wild - constantly aware of the threat of predators. For me, it’s not only being around other people that feels dangerous; even in situations when there is no one I can see in a social … Continue reading Living with social anxiety/phobia

The visible Queer: Portraiture & the reconstruction of gender identity

A paper delivered at Wits in March 2014. The public, theoretical queer space is one of many languages, celebrating diversity and the multitude of queer being and potential. But what about the private, lived experience of the queer? I argue that there is a massive disparity between the public, theoretical queer space and the private, … Continue reading The visible Queer: Portraiture & the reconstruction of gender identity

To my Beloved: A declaration

On the 2nd of April Noah and I made vows and declarations to each other in the presence of our chosen family in a hand-fasting ceremony. This was my declaration to Noah: I’m a very serious person, because very serious things have happened to me. In this seriousness, I default to the rational, the intellectual, … Continue reading To my Beloved: A declaration

On pain and healing #trauma #complextrauma #complexPTSD #CPTSD

In the seemingly endless and timeless saga of gallbladder pain and removal, a lot is coming up for me about the topic of pain. Today’s realisation: Do you know what happens when you validate someone’s current pain from a place of sincerity? When they know for a certainty that they, who never know anything coming … Continue reading On pain and healing #trauma #complextrauma #complexPTSD #CPTSD

Universes explode to make room for healing ones #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #ComplexPTSD #ComplexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery

Popping in with an update. I’m still on a social media break, but wanted to let you know how I’m doing. I am starting to gain some equilibrium and have felt relatively good in the last two days. I think that the Dopaquel has finally started kicking in and the side effects of dizziness, dry … Continue reading Universes explode to make room for healing ones #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #ComplexPTSD #ComplexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery

Social media hiatus: Sanity, insanity & self-care #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #complexPTSD #complexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery

**** Summary, because this post may, in all likelihood, evoke a response of tl;dr as I wrote this post, rewrote it and edited it multiple times between 19:00 last night and 06:00 this morning. TW for severe mental distress in the form of hypomania: I’m taking a social media sabbatical, but before I go I … Continue reading Social media hiatus: Sanity, insanity & self-care #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #complexPTSD #complexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery

Self care & the problematic definitions of “selfishness”, “work” & “family”

The incalculably problematic definitions of “selfish”, “work” and “family” we have been forcefed are so, so damaging. “Me time”, with the whole work:life balance conversation emptily spewing from Capitalism’s mouth simply creates another carrot we can’t reach and we once again use the stick to beat ourselves up. I remind myself that everyone in a … Continue reading Self care & the problematic definitions of “selfishness”, “work” & “family”

Finding joy in the midst of the relentless onslaught of difficult things #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #complexPTSD #complexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery

I’m getting all excited about feeling like I’m able to start reading again. I was a voracious reader for about two and a half decades. That was taken from me by depression for the same amount of time. As we pack our home over the next 10 days to two weeks to move into Our … Continue reading Finding joy in the midst of the relentless onslaught of difficult things #CPTSD #CPTSDrecovery #complexPTSD #complexPTSDrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery